I am sorry for the silence, I truly am.
Today my cousin and I finally talked after what seems like forever. Well me and her are really close. she has been a proper sister to me. Of all my cousins me and her are the closest and you know how close our family is so just imagine that. I had heard that she is having it rough but I was not ready for what she told me.
I broke down.
As soon as I read what she had to say I was weeping. I don’t think I have cried like that in ages. She is the strongest girl I know and even with all this going on she is still strong enough to keep going.
I don’t know if I could go through all that and still get up every morning. She is my role model because she is so vulnerable not only health wise but mentally and emotionally. However, she is not letting that be what defines her. She is not letting her weaknesses limit her. I don’t know how many people can do that. How many people can just give everyday and every second to God because you never know. Some people say that it’s at your lowest point that you learn to appreciate life more. Well she has got there and she has learnt to cease the day.
What made it worst was that she was going through it all alone. That broke my heart further. She was talking about how she has learnt to survive on her own and rely on herself and count on herself only. But is that the way to live? A life of me, myself and I. I know I always talk about being okay with being myself all my life or how I can’t open up but if I was going through a rough time I know I have at least 3 people I can turn to. That assurance is what keeps me going so the fact that she found the strength to stand on her own just makes me admire her even more.
So I asked her, what was it? What kept her going? All she said was “God”. That amount of faith and belief and trust in God is the strength I need. That is the correct path to take. That is simply what strength is, God. It took my cousin to open my eyes, I often feel God talks to me through her.
Ever felt like you just need to sit down and rethink the whole strategy at which you are approaching life?! That is how I feel now.
I have to go now.